Declaration of a Conservative Feminist

 While browsing the web over the past few weeks at my super important desk job(...), I found myself reading several articles on women in the workplace and fights for gender equality:

-         “We worked so hard to get here so we need to make those who fought for our freedom proud by changing the statistics!”

-         “Being a mom isn't enough to the modern day woman."
-         “More nannies, more days off, more ways to balance!”

After filling my brain with such heavy woman-powered agenda’s, my brain goes into a bit of an overload and I have to counteract it with mommy blogs and Pinterest:  

-         “Look at these crafty cupcakes I intricately decorated!”

-         “Here’s another photo session of my baby in case you didn’t see the past 5 I posted”

-         “I do these workouts to help get rid of the post-baby body."

What a difference it is going from women-need-to-be-treated-equally-and-have-exactly-50-percent-of-the-professional-jobs-and-anyone-who-thinks-differently-is-offending-me

to…

I’m-a-stay-at-home-mom-and-any-woman-who-works-more-than-20-hours-outside-their-home-is-offending-God-and-their-children. I feel like women are now moving to only two ways of thinking and are absolutely intolerant to the other party. Like there is no way to have a little bit of both, or to choose one and have a friend in the other. Like no matter what, you WILL be disappointing some society. And maybe it’s always been like that. Social media certainly doesn’t help merge the gap.

But I WANT to. I want to merge the gap. I want to be a feminist conservative. I want to not feel judged from the mom’s that I am still not pregnant. I want to not feel judged from my business women that I am already married. I want to be taken seriously when I say I want a job while I raise my family. BUT I also don’t want to be thought as a failure if, after I have a kid, I change my mind. Even though the judgments don't change me and I don't have to react to them 1) I do...because wait for it: I'm not perfect 2) it still doesn't change the current views of what woman should and should be/do. So here it goes...

I am a feminist. I believe women should always be treated equally and given any opportunity they desire. I love women in all their glorious callings. I think we’re way different than men inherently and so obviously! Whether you’re a tomboy, a lesbian, a house wife, a corporate queen, or anything else, you’re NOT a man.

I am a conservative. I believe in getting married and  raising a family. And  if we don’t hit that 50% equality mark for every job and educational major,  I’m OK with it. Because we probably won’t want the same kind of professions that a man does…because we’re not men. And some of our responsibilities will always be different. Because we're the ones that get pregnant, have the baby, and breast feed. And I love that about women!

And when I hop from one personality to the next (or just teeter in the middle like I seem to do now), I haven’t failed feminism but have reinforced it; that I know I can be whatever I am and be a woman. And to me, THAT’S what the women fought for all those years ago. A Woman DOESN’T have to do everything. She could just have a job like I do right now. Or she could just have a family that their raising. Or she could try and do both. But it’s all feministic because we can. And how awesome is that?

So with the upcoming election underway, women’s rights have been a hot topic. Let’s all vote. The most amazing right we as citizens have in this country is live in a democracy where women can fight for these rights and live how they choose. Vote and announce your feminism to the world!

I missed church and went on a nature walk

Due to Trent's flight for a work training conference, I missed church. So instead, after I dropped him off, I drove to Cuyahoga National Park for some time with ol' mother nature. Like Utah, Cleveland is filled with colorful trees. But the trees and land are different and have there own unique beauty. The more days I spend searching for the good here, the more I really fall in love with it (mom joke).

The Hartman Estate

Just had to title it that in the spirit of Downton Abbey which I am watching right now. That show makes me use proper language and butter knives. Seriously, I'm using a butter knife with my toast right now. Anyway, it's not a finished place, but it's a start. Without further ado, here is the Hartman Estate (captions to be read with an English accent): 

The Dining Room

I finally matted the map Trent gave me for Christmas last year and hung it on the wall. We put tacks on it to represent the various places Trent and I have traveled and lived.

The Living Room

The Maid's Quarters

"Greetings from" postcards I've hung representing the different places we've lived together. Can you believe we will add at least three more cities to this list in the next two years?

The Hallway

and The Master Bed. I fancy this room.

 Well, cheerio!

"Pay It Forward" giveaway, what am I doing with my life, and New Professional Blog

Hey all! Due to a comment I left on my girl Bridgette's blog, I am now required to write a special post on mine! So here's the whole scoop:

The rules:

-The first three people to comment on this post will receive

a little gift - something personal from me to you.

-But in order to receive your present you have to play along.

Spread the love on your own blog promising to send a

little special something to the first three people

who comment on your post.

-You get 72 hours to re-post, or I'll have to move on to

the next person.

-Please only comment if you're willing to pay it forward.

If you want to receive something unique from me in the mail (no international at this time) and if you are willing to do the same for others, leave a comment below!

Please leave your email address & blog URL so that I and others can visit your blog!

Now, comment on this post and then go make someone else's life better today!

Also, I forgot to mention in my last blog post what I am doing to keep myself busy (besides blogging every few weeks...haha). I have advertised myself on craigslist and within my church to teach voice and guitar lessons. I'm pleased to say I already have six dedicated students and am learning a lot about how to teach! Also, I just recently got a job at the downtown PNC Bank as a general assistant. No, I'm not a teller...I'm a secretary. I haven't had my first day yet but will keep you all updated on how it's going. Lastly, to help me advertise my voice and guitar lessons, I created a new blog! It's serving as more of a professional website to advertise my skills and experience. Anyway, I think I made it look pretty nice and just added some media links that you can check out.  You can find it here: http://stephhartman.blogspot.com. I am hoping to buy a domain soon and have it go straight to the blog. Anyone know how to do that? Also, if you find any typos, awkward wordings, or anything else that could make the page look better. Shoot me an email! 

We've already been here a month!?!?

Welcome to Cleveland!

 So far, Cleveland has been way fun! We have had a lot of opportunities to experience the city life and seriously couldn't be happier. There is so much delicious food! That, of course, is what we care about most. Trent and I had two weeks to explore the city before we started work. The first week we went to Kirtland, a historical city that Mormon pioneers inhabited for a brief time. It was Trent's first time visiting a church history site outside of Utah so it was neat to experience together.

Kirtland Temple

Whitney Storehouse. Joseph Smith lived in the upstairs for a period of time.

The following Monday was Labor Day and we went with a bunch of people from our ward to downtown to watch the Blue Angels fly through the sky. What a perfect way to celebrate the holiday. We found it very relaxing.

A couple days later we went to the zoo. Everyone and their mom talked about how neat this zoo was but we were a little dissapointed. We liked the Houston zoo more. But the animals are always cool to visit. We both love animals so much. Zeus is so lucky to have us as masters.

It's Lil' Sebastian!!!!!

Cheetah. He was making some serious growls and hisses at Trent. It was crazy! We probably spent the majority of our time there because we were so amazed he was developing a relationship with him.

That Friday, we drove to Chagrin Falls. It's a small town not too far away from the city. 

cute popcorn stand in Chagrin Falls

as we walked through the town, we saw a library and decided to register to vote. I invite everyone to do the same!!!

There is an ice cream parlor in Chagrin Falls that is absolutely amazing. They have the more unique flavored ice creams I've ever eaten. Trent said it rivaled Venice gelato for him...but I disagree..

Trent started work the following week and surprise! We finally got our stuff from the movers (pictures of our apartment coming soon). So I had the great responsibility of emptying all the boxes and organizing the house. Friday I took a break and attended a Republican rally. Mitt Romney even showed up!

shear shirt, no poncho, Cleveland weather= cold, immodest, unprepared Stephanie

This guy is such an inspiration to me. His words made me want to start doing some door-to-door campaigning for him.

 And in other news, Trent is trying to potty train Zeus.

That's all for now!

Cages of Commitment and Real Sacrifice

I have just had feelings all day that I should write an additional blog post. I'm not sure who needs it or maybe if it's just for me to express myself in a sensible manner but I know I should. So here's the message concerning the feelings I have had through this move and the passed two and half years of marriage.

A little background: I grew up receiving a phenomenal education from a very prestigious and forward thinking high school. I worked hard and followed all my passions, that is everything that I felt was of a righteous nature or otherwise uplifting. I studied dance, participated in school plays, performed with chamber choirs, photographed, played in a band, lead in ASB, wrote poetry, and dreamed of the future (a ton). Blessed beyond degree, I attended college where I had plans to do the exact same thing, and maybe date...I have always been a bit boy crazy.

The story: I met my sweetheart, my soulmate if you will, at a 19. 19! He spoke of traveling, Seattle, cats, dependability, and above all supported my passions and encouraged my continual exposure to them. He liked my independant nature and I loved how he let me be the independant me I need to be. I was love struck and sickened but really had no idea what I was getting myself into even two years later when I married him. I suppose I always thought marriage was when you'd stop dating and everything would be easy. I couldn't have been more wrong.

The problem: Turns out I didn't know much of anything at all. I honestly didn't even really know who I was. I suddenly found myself married to a husband who recieved so many amazing opportunities and me loving him too much to say no because i knew how greatly it would affect his future career. Also, I had no job that took away from his plans. But he took these traveling internships and I had to go with him! I, a once loose and wild bird, was put into what i like to call the cage of commitment.  

For the first couple years I kind of ignored the cage knowing that every internship was only a few months and that I could go back to school with the same friends, jobs, status, dreams, and hobbies. At first my cage felt more like a leash. After all, me? The woman of opportunity, of possibilities, in a cage?

But then, this June, the truth hit me: it was time for Trent to get a real job. I knew i could sway his decision and say no this time. After all, we are a team and this wasn't an internship anymore. I had job offers too. But Trent got this job and it was right. He was moving to Cleveland. And I, Therefore, was moving to Cleveland.

I know to some people this announcement might have come off as an exciting new step in life. Certainly everyone talked about it like I should be happy, proud, and grateful that my husband was creating a future for me. Little did they know, I felt I should fly for the hills. Cleveland? What the heck is in Cleveland? What the heck would I do in Cleveland? Why would someone else be able to decide my future???

And there I was again in that very small cage again. 

For two months I took it out on Trent.  He was ruining my life, my future, my plans. I felt cold-hearted all the time. I'm afraid to say many of my last weeks in Utah were spent feeling selfish and irritated and not with those I cared for. Something needed to change. I did.

The answer: did not come overnight. I've never been the one for pink elephant epiphanies. Though I had not emerged from my cage yet, I began to become more open to ideas of individuality and freedom through personal pondering and especially prayer for positivity. However today was my favorite breakthrough yet.

Today, while in my new ward, in my new house, on my very temporary inflatable mattress, i found myself wondering- what would I do if I didnt have Trent? What would i do if I did not move to Cleveland? More importantly, what the heck do I want to do anyway???

 And suddenly I started to feel so grateful for Trent.Here I am complaining about myself and my own ambitions and I'm not even considering my partner, my sweetheart,my other half. Here he is giving everything up: his time, his energy, and his true passions for a job to take care of me.  Talk about a "cage of commitment." And hes doing it for me! A girl who still has no idea what she wants to do with her life. A girl who probably if she did know would still not be able to rely on her own incomes to support herself. And suddenly, I didn't feel caged anymore.

I act like I'm giving this big sacrifice for him, when really he's giving it to me. 

My thoughts then moved to the ultimate sacrifice of Christ. How many times do people come off with this approach to Mormonism and all the things we as mormons can't do. Indeed there may be personal moments people may be upset by the sacrifices they have to make for Christ and feel encaged. But then you must remember, what has he done for you? And what if he was never there in the first place? 

I act like I'm giving this big sacrifice for Him, when really He's giving it to me. 

And I now feel more love for both these important amazing men in my life.

Four Cities, Two Years: week 1

August 23rd we arrived in Cleveland. We were exhausted after 10 hours of travelling from Park City with a seriously petrified Zeus. Poor thing peed himself on the plane. Little did he know I could empathize with his embarrassment.

Thankfully we stayed in Embassy Suites for the first few days. They certainly relieved some of our stress directing us around the city with great food recommendations. And you know me: as long as I have good food in my belly, I can ALWAYS be happy. By Sunday, we were ready to move into our new place. However, we still did not have any of our stuff from the movers. 

The following are shots of those first few days. I have quite a few of a particular restaurant called Sokolowski's. It was my first experience with Polish food and boy was is amazing. It was in a really awesome area of the city with tones of Orthodox churches.

love the old character of this city

View of Cleveland from Sokolowski's

Since the root of my name is so similar, I found we share the same family crest!

I can certainly say that by the end of the night. I was so proud to be Polish. Guarantee this isn't the last time I eat there. We found out this place had lines that go around the block in the winter!

Veteran's Monument

Lincoln Monument. It has his speech on the base of it.

These guitars are all around Cleveland. It's kind of like the Seattle pigs and the Park City Moose. 

Since then, our week has been plenty productive. Trent hasn't had work so it's been a great opportunity for us to be tourists. We have eaten out A LOT, mostly because we have no other choice since we have nothing to cook with. But the Mormon church ward that we are in here is awesome! We have already been invited to dinner by three different families as well as have been given food by a fourth! Needless to say, I think Cleveland will work just fine for now. This Wednesday, our friend Mike and Lauren drove through Cleveland to DC for a wedding and we were able to see them! Here are a few more pictures having lunch with them and other recent exploring:

Don't forget to look at the sandwiches!!!

We ate at a place called The Melt. It was crazy and AWESOME. Notice the Velveeta cheese box in the back?

At Brandy Wine falls in Cuyahoga Valley National Park

Beautiful forest. As we drove through Trent kept saying, "I'm pleasantly surprised with Cleveland." It was hilarious.

Not a very great picture of Little Italy. I'll be sure to take more pictures soon.

So...we STILL don't have our stuff. And actually, it's STILL in Salt Lake City. I seriously cannot believe it. The movers don't expect to have it to us until the Sept 11th. It's their problem at this point since they give us money for everyday they go over their expected delivery date (which was August 31st). So, at least you can see a picture of the outside of our apartment.

Trent and Zeus sleeping on the inflatable mattress. I'm typing this blog on a lawn chair in our kitchen. We're LITERALLY camping in this place!